Wannabe

So originally I wanted this site to be titled "Wannabe." I was hoping to start the world's biggest Spice World fan club. No, seriously, I feel like a wannabe. Recently graduated (does a year later count?) and I am a wannabe of all trades. It feels like an impossible feat to start living the life I will live for the rest of my life. What does it mean to be graduated? Am I considered by all standards to be a grown up? And what does that entail? I am not moving onto job number two and am beyond thrilled. Enough about that, though, because that is none of the internet's business! ;)

I just don't know what or who I am as a recent graduate. I'm not even really sure that qualifies my actual characteristics, because all of the '09ers would probably be in much deeper shit than I am currently in. What does it feel like to send out 100 resumes and get a few responses? Ask my friends and I. We are accomplished, hard workers and finding a job was a pain in the ass. Happy to say that all are gainfully (but maybe not so happily?) employed. Thank God! But how to maintain that lifestyle? Tough.

I am a little grateful for the issues with the economy. Hear me out...I know that sounds completely un-American, but it is not. I just feel strongly that my generation now understands how to maintain money, because guess what, it's disappearing faster than we can spend it at the newest, best, hottest restaurants and bars. Faster than I can spend on a brand new Botkier purse on Gilt or on an unnecessary Ebay binge. This is the life of an ever-evolving young woman or man who has found themselves out of the parentals' humble abode and paying their own rent with fairly hard earned cash. Luckily I was able to move out but hey it's still pretty funky to be forking over a big CHUNK of your paycheck each month. I hate to wave goodbye to that cash that was previously spent on things I will never really need. Being responsible feels uncomfortable sometimes. I just can't help it.

Do you ever feel like a wannabe? I mean yes I can understand that this term dates back to elementary and middle school, but this term now holds much stronger meaning for me. I wanna be happy, successful, content, comfortable, working for a purpose. All easier said then done.